MONKEY CHUG and DAS BOOT

This weekend is my 20th year college reunion. There. I said it. I finally told you what an old hag I am. You’re smart…you can figure out that I’m old enough for Botox, sclerotherapy, boob lifts, cougarhood and more. But am I worried about my wrinkles or excess poundage when I show up to reunion? Hell no! I’ve been losing more sleep over what shooze to pack for this 3 day weekend trip. You see, I went to college in upstate New York. It pretty much snowed from October to April and all we really wore were LLBean boots. Now that it’s June, the weather is really different so I’m not sure what kind of shooze to pack. I need to keep in mind we will be under the tents in what could potentially be a muddy field. Someone might vomit on my feet. I may have to walk down Cardiac Hill for torchlight ceremony, so that pretty much rules out heels. Flip flops? Nah, it might be too cold for that. If we get drunk enough, we may go cow tipping so I need to have puke/mud/manure resistant footware. My friends and I are really at a loss for what to wear. And that’s when it hit me…the perfect shoe for my college reunion is DAS BOOT.

You see, not only are we planning on consuming alotta beer this weekend, but it’s only apropos that we would channel Das Boot. You see, I went to college with the Broken Lizard guys who among other brilliantly funny movies, wrote, produced, directed and starred in BeerFest. You know…the movie where they train for chug-offs against the German beermeisters to protect a guarded family beer recipe secret. Along the years, I have gained immense popularity with my interns at work in the young 20s age group. When I tell them that I actually have drunk beer with these guys, they immediate think I am the coolest senior citizen around. It heightens my coolness factor and they think I’m the shit. The elementary school crowd think I’m pretty hip when they find out I know the bus driver from Sky High. I’m like “huhhhhhhh?” Because how I really know these guys best, is growing up with them in my college years and Monkey Chugging.

I hear you scratch your head and say “Monkey Chug? What is the Mamagirl banging on about now? I came here to read about shooze…what is a Monkey Chug?” Well you see…a Monkey Chug is something we used to do in college. I can’t take credit for it – the concept of it was born in the Beta Theta Pi fraternity house where the Broken Lizard guys and many of my most excellent friends would hang upside down from a pipe in the tap room and chug beers upside down. So if you’ve seen Beerfest, that whole training thing that went on for months and months was a complete farce. You see, these guys have been training since I’ve known them. How many people do you know can hang upside down and chug beer? So boyz….I can’t wait to see you this weekend. And while I haven’t Monkey Chugged in almost 20 years, I gave it a go tonight in preparation to see you. Watch this, here is my attempt. Don’t laugh. But maybe, you can possibly find me a bit part in Beerfest 2. Because I don’t think that Jessica Simpson or Wonder Woman can dangle upside down and open up their gullets for a brewery explosion.