Alright, let’s start with my good intentions last night. I came home timely from the office. I was feeling a little guilty and slightly unfulfilling of my domestic duties because the night before, I made Jackis a delicious homemade chicken parmesan cutlet. But that was it. No veggie, no starch. It was not a balanced meal. As I served the plated entree sans sides, I was met with somewhat of a frown. It stuck with me the next day. What was balanced about this so-called meal? My own mamagirl used to serve a protein, a starch and a green veggie every night of my life. My sister is an accomplished Cordon Bleu trained chef. And while I have confidence that my culinary skills are well above par, when it comes to making a meal after being in the office all day, I totally suck. That’s why I decided that I was going to try my very best in the domestic arena last night.
I came home and I pulled out the artichokes and the zucchini from the fridge. I was going to grill them and brush them with olive oil and garlic. I also pulled the lettuce, avocado, tomatoes, red onion, baby cucumbers, lemon, olive oil and sliced turkey from the fridge and started to chop up a salad. I was feeling truly Nigella-esqe --like a real life Domestic Goddess…and it felt good. Until BRLINNNNGGG, BLIINNNGGGG…the telephone started to ring….
THE MAMAGIRL: Hullo?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: Hello, Mamagirl? It’s Gus’ teacher. Sorry to bother you at night, but do you have a minute?
THE MAMAGIRL: Of course, wassup?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: Well, umm….well, I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow’s Mother’s Day Breakfast.
THE MAMAGIRL: Yes! I’m looking forward to it!!
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: Well, umm, well,..I don’t really know how to phrase this to you..
THE MAMAGIRL: Just spit it out, I'm easy.
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: Well, ummmmm. We are doing a project where we interviewed the kids and asked them what their mom is good at, or what their mom likes.
THE MAMAGIRL: That sounds like a great project! I can’t wait to see what all the kids said tomorrow when I come for the breakfast. (It’s not often that I get to drop my kids at school and have them feel like I’m a dedicated mom, away from my working life. I can’t WAIT to take them to school tomorrow! So excited!)
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: Well, umm. …I need to talk to you about what Gus said when we interviewed him. Ummm…well, when we asked him what Mommy is good at…ummmm, he said, ummmm “she’s a fantastic dancer. On the pole”. And he drew a picture and everything. Ummm, I need to ask you about your reaction and what you think we should do about this…” I suggested to him that we say Mommy is a good dancer, but he was INSISTENT that it was on a pole.
Well, don’t you know that that made me proud and I love my Gussy Man even more. I explained to the teacher that yes, I poledance as a form of exercise, but no, I am not a stripper and my clothes do remain on. I explained that I have de-stigmatized the improprieties associated with poledancing to my children and that they appreciate it as an art form. But I am a lucid mamagirl. I recognize that others might not feel this way, and that is why I told her that she should not offend other kindergarten parents at the Mother’s Day breakfast tomorrow with Gus’ diary excerpts of our domestic life hanging on the classroom wall. Instead, we agreed that she would change it to “My Mommy Likes to Dance”. But only with the caveat that she would give me his original script so that when I am a grandmother, I can look back and appreciate the words of my incredible son. I already appreciate his words and love that as a 6 year old, he does not disgrace the art form of poledancing. And this is all going to cash in someday if and when he patronizes a stripclub as an adult. My sons will not be the paralyzed men with their jaws wide open, eyes rolling backwards in their heads and drool slobbering down their jowls. Instead, I like to hope that they will be progressive and respectful.
So today, I am showing up at the Kindergarten Mother’s Day Breakfast primly and properly dressed as an appropriate mamagirl. My skirt reaches to my knee. And like my own mamagirl always told me, a true lady always matches her shoes to her belt to her purse. So voila, here I am, scrubbed head to toe in propriety. Happy Mamagirl's Day to all!!
Elie Tahari, blue Hudson napa platform sandal
Hermes blue belt
Sequoia, "jeans" leather tote
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