SERPENTS AND BEASTS

Jennifer Aniston is stealing my mo-jo. It is so not fair that she is rocking the Jimmy Choo Lance sandals that I have had my eye on for the past two weeks. I wanted to strut them and show them to you first but she had to go ahead and defeat me by splashing them all over page three of today’s New York Post. The only difference is that when I get me my own pair, I’m gonna get them in the leopard patent leather colorway. While it’s possibly true that gentlemen might prefer blondes, I think brunettes (yes, I showed you this week that my mane is pretty sooty colored) may have the advantage of being able to pull off more dramatic colorations in what they wear. So while I do love the neutral staple of the camel colored sandal that Jen is wearing, it's going to be so much more multi-dimensional when The Mamagirl sports them in the leopard version. As you can see, the form of the shoe is Medusa-like. The straps slither and slink around the ankles like a venomous and dangerous viper. But the leopard print adds a raw, bestial and savage quality too. And The Mamagirl is all about wild and poisonous animals. So I’m gonna save up and get me some of those Lance sandals and wear them in my private zoo.

Oh, and by the way --one thing I really do have to compliment Jen on...I'm not so hot for her "is he or isn't he her boyfriend, Gerald Butler".  HOWEVER I am seriously lusting after his loft apartment.  Pick up May's issue of Architectural Digest to see his showstopping ancestoral manor-house loft in the heart of Chelsea, NYC.  I really don't personally know any bachelors who live in such a chicly decorated, castle like digs such as his.  But if I did, I would certainly like to spend some time getting to know him.  This is my ultimate dream loft, I love it. 

Jimmy Choo, Lance sandals, camel patent leather and leopard patent leather