SHOOZE=BOOZE

Last night, I needed some assurance. I needed to be cool, courageous and have intrepid grace. While I might have turned to confidence in a bottle, booze was off limits for me tonight. You see, I was debuting my auction skills and had volunteered to be the auctioneer at the school fundraiser. While a slug or two of something potent might have calmed my nerves, I knew it would disastrously interfere with my math and any ability to count consecutively and sensibly. So as I dressed at home, I knew what was going to get me through this. I had to select a pair of shooze that was going to give me aplomb and fortitude; ones that would support and carry me through the night. Tonight, shooze was going to be my booze.

You may ask, why on earth would anyone volunteer to stand in front of a crowd, with a microphone in hand and risk botching up the fiscal health of a 501(c )3 organization? Well, I’m not entirely unzipped and batty. You see, my background is in art and I spent a decade of my early career between the auction houses of Christies and Sotheby’s. While I have never actually conducted an auction, I have logged in many hours in the auction room bidding on behalf of clients, recording bids, spotting bidders so I do understand the auction rules and process. Nonetheless, I called some of my former colleagues, visited and sat in on the auction rooms again to listen and get my groove back on. I will say, I am indebted to all the help and advice I received from them, in particular from the one of the celebrated Antiques Roadshow/Americana specialist Keno twins, whose best advice to me was to wear my pink furry go-go boots and everyone would want to give me their money.

I actually enjoyed being up in front of 250 people taking their money. It was for a great cause – it was for my children, their peers and the amazing faculty that makes up this wonderful school. Besides, as protocol allows, an auctioneer may not be interrupted, so I especially enjoyed talk, talk, talking without anyone being allowed to get a word in. I sold Jets tickets, NY Yankee tickets, Disney vacation experiences, chefs in your home, golf excursions, Day as the Principal, ski house vacations, lake house vacations and more. And the best part? I was the successful bidder of Gus’ kindergarten art project in the silent auction. I am now the very proud owner of this incredible toy chest which came filled with sports books.

My voice is weak today from talking all night. I finally did get my first drink of the night at 11:30pm when it was all over. I’m spending this rainy, windy hurricanesque of a day relaxing at home with my family and building Lego Power Miners with Gus. And I haven’t put a pair of shoes on all day. Today, it’s my day of rest.

Yves Saint Laurent, black patent leather and bronze rattan sandal